And not get overwhelmed yourself!

When its All Too Much

Every life coach eventually meets the client who's drowning in the overwhelm; whether they are buried under too many responsibilities, emotional turmoil, or the relentless demands of daily life. Overwhelm isn't just stress; it's the point at which stress overflows your emotional boundaries, making clear thought and decisive action nearly impossible. But what exactly does overwhelm entail, and how can you best coach your client through these moments?

BetterUp explains overwhelm clearly:

As coaches, it's critical to understand the experience of being overwhelmed in depth, recognizing both its manifestations and solutions. So join us on CLCI Live while Jen Long (PCC), Anthony Lopez (MCPC), Brooke Adair Walters (ACC), Jerome LeDuff (MCLC), and Lisa Finck (MCC) explores how you can support overwhelmed clients and restore their sense of control.

Spotting Overwhelmed Clients

Overwhelmed clients don't always openly declare, "I'm overwhelmed." If they did it would probably make the coaching session a whole lot easier but we can use our intuition to watch out for the signs. While on the flipside, we do not want to put words in our clients mouth and say "Sounds like you are overwhelmed". Every client will have their own language for how they describe the feeling and sometimes it's hidden behind phrases or signs like:

• "I've got so many things to do, I don't know where to start."

• "I feel like I'm juggling too many responsibilities."

• "Everything feels urgent, but nothing gets done."

• Emotional outbursts or uncharacteristic irritability.

  
  

Verywell Mind highlights common reasons behind overwhelm, including:

• Loss of a loved one

• Excessive workload

• Personal relationship conflicts

• Financial pressures

• Health concerns

• Major life changes

  
  

These are some reasons that you may or may not be aware of as a coach. While its not recommended that you do a deep dive and uncover every little negative thing that may being going on in your client's life, its important to note that there is always more going on under the surface and it will be up to your client to decide if any given piece of information is relevant towards their overwhelm.

Coaching Strategies for Overwhelmed Clients

Provide Clarity and Focus

When your client feels overwhelmed, clarity becomes the essential first step. Clients often struggle because they see their issues as an enormous, tangled mess. You can help unravel and simplify by asking:

• "What feels most important right now?"

• "What feels most important in this session?"

• "If you could accomplish just one thing, what would it be?"

• "If you could, what would solve immediately with a snap of your fingers?"

This shifts their attention from scattered chaos to focused clarity and helps to establish a session contract. It also helps you the coach from being overwhelmed by a client who can't initially focus and may feel panicked at the prospect of tackling everything all at once.

Breaking Down the Problem

Overwhelm occurs because some tasks seem insurmountable. Coaching involves breaking large problems into manageable steps. Encourage your client to think in small, achievable goals:

• "What's the smallest action you could take that would reduce your overwhelm today?"

• "How can you divide your tasks into manageable chunks?"

• "What can you do in the next 5 minutes/1 hour/day/7 days? What is possible?"

This process of breaking down the mountain and turning them into molehills can help to provide immediate relief and causes the client to think in ways which even a small amount of progress can matter,

Recognize Patterns

Clients, over a period of many sessions, may unintentionally repeat behaviors that contribute to their overwhelm. Observing patterns can help disrupt this cycle. Ask reflective questions like:

• "What's similar about this situation to other times you've felt overwhelmed?"

• "What patterns do you notice around when and how overwhelm shows up for you?"

Better yet, you the coach can share observations with kindness & candor and without judgment:

• "I've noticed that when this subject comes up in our sessions you grimace and frown, what's the deeper thoughts that are causing this?"

• "I've seen a pattern when you talk about the big-picture, long-term goals you talk about how it "feels impossible", but when we talk about the short-term milestones you seem energetic and optimistic. What do you see going on there?"

  
  

Address Perfectionism

Perfectionism often lies beneath overwhelm. Clients often set unrealistic standards that can inevitably lead to paralysis or burnout. Coaching can shift this mindset from "perfect" to "good enough". From "ideal" to "real".

Our stance at CLCI is that "if something is worth doing, it's worth doing well" then its also worth doing badly.

On a serious note, coaches can help to focus on progress over perfection, by allowing clients to acknowledge small wins and reduce unnecessary pressure.

Create Emotional and Cognitive Space

As coaches, its on us to meet the client where they are at and to reflect their energy back to them. However, that does not mean we have to get pulled into a whirlpool of emotion or panic. In those situations creating calm within sessions can dramatically reduce immediate overwhelm. When clients experience sensory or emotional overload, pause and provide space. Slow the pace of your session, and encourage mindful reflection:

• "Let's pause for a moment. How are you feeling right now?"

• "Let's take a beat and think silently on this for 2 minutes, then afterwards tell me what's happening internally?"

Just holding silence as a coach can sometimes be enough. There is no need for you to respond immediately to a client and this may allow the client time to process and order their thoughts.

When Coaching Isn't Enough

While coaching can powerfully address overwhelm, sometimes it's a symptom of deeper issues beyond a coach's scope, such as trauma, severe anxiety, depression, or other mental health disorders. Sometimes, overwhelm indicates more significant issues needing therapeutic intervention.

If your client shows signs of continuous emotional dysregulation, severe anxiety, or trauma reactions (such as dissociation, panic attacks, or flashbacks), it's crucial to refer them to a licensed mental health professional. Coaches must recognize these boundaries to ethically support their clients.

Attracting and Speaking to the Overwhelmed Client

If overwhelmed clients is your jam and that is is who you are aiming to help in your coaching practice, then streamline your processes! Ensure your website clearly explains coaching, reduces decision-making stress, and includes direct, simple steps to booking sessions.

Be sure to also highlight that coaching isn't an additional obligation to add to their plate; it's a release valve for the pressures clients face. Frame your offering as the solution that declutters their minds and calendars, providing the calm space they crave.

Overall, being overwhelmed isn't an inevitable crisis; it's a signpost pointing towards needed change. As a life coach, your role is to help clients navigate these emotions, break complex situations into manageable tasks, identify inefficient patterns, and acknowledge their progress.

With patience, clarity, and empathy, you can turn moments of overwhelm into opportunities for profound personal growth and lasting change.

Thank you,

Jen Long (PCC), Anthony Lopez (MCPC), Brooke Adair Walters (ACC), Jerome LeDuff (MCLC), and Lisa Finck (MCC)

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