Nothing enlivens a party and casual get together like an impromptu coaching session! /s
"Stop Coaching ME"!
Ever caught yourself slipping into coach mode at a family dinner or during a casual chat with friends? We've all been there—fresh from certification, eager to apply our new skills everywhere we go. Picture this: Your friend or loved one wants some advice, your take on a situation, or they just want to vent. But in your supreme wisdom you decide to ask some open-ended questions, withhold your opinion, and even dare to set a session contract...only to be met with, "'Stop coaching me!"
It's an all-too-familiar scenario for many of us. But even when we're off the clock, the skills we hone as life coaches don't just vanish; they tend to weave themselves into the fabric of our everyday interactions, offering subtle, yet profound, benefits to our personal lives, even if it's to the annoyance of the people closest to us.
So let's take a close look at how we can subtly and wisely use the skills we gain from being a coach in our outside lives.
When The Coaching Hat Is Off
To clear up confusion, this conversation is about coaches, but it’s not about coaching. Every life coach also has a life outside their career, and it is important that they disconnect from the latter in order to be present and enjoy the former. It’s no longer about the contract and relationship between a specific client and their goals. This is your life, to grow and watch your loved ones grow. This is not about sneakily holding a full session with a friend or family member you see struggling. You’re their loved one. That’s probably going to matter to them more than you being their coach.
The coaching skills we use are practiced and perfected for the session. But that does not make these skills obsolete in all other areas. Think about every interaction you have where you, both, or multiple parties stand to gain in a mutual beneficial relationship. This extends to friends, family, colleagues, partnerships, etc.
7 Coaching Skills For Outside the Session
Active Listening: In coaching, active listening is foundational—it involves fully concentrating on the client, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. Coaches practice this skill to ensure clients feel heard and validated, which helps build trust and facilitate deeper understanding.
Outside of coaching, this skill is invaluable in personal conversations and professional meetings. For example, during a family dinner, actively engaging and responding to your partner's stories without distractions can greatly enhance the relationship by showing genuine interest and care.
Open-Ended Questioning: Coaches use open-ended questions to encourage clients to explore their thoughts and feelings, which helps them gain insights and come to conclusions on their own. This technique fosters deeper self-reflection and discovery.
When applied in everyday interactions, such as with friends or during work meetings, these questions can encourage deeper discussions and innovative thinking. Asking a colleague, “What strategies do you think could improve our workflow?” can lead to productive brainstorming sessions that might otherwise be stifled by simple yes/no questions.
Empathic Engagement: Empathy in coaching creates a supportive environment where clients can open up about personal challenges without fear of judgment. This skill helps coaches connect with clients on an emotional level, fostering a supportive dialogue.
In everyday life, showing empathy can strengthen relationships, whether it’s empathizing with a friend who’s going through a tough time or understanding a colleague’s challenges at work. It can transform interactions from superficial exchanges to meaningful connections.
Effective Communication: Effective communication is crucial in coaching for articulating questions or insights clearly and making sure they align with the client’s language and goals. This skill ensures that the coaching sessions are productive and the client’s goals are clearly addressed.
In daily life, clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and build better relationships, whether it’s giving clear instructions to a team or explaining plans to family members.
Setting Boundaries: In coaching, setting boundaries is helps to maintain a professional and ethical relationship with the client. It helps define what is expected in the coaching relationship and what falls outside its scope.
This skill is equally important outside of coaching; it helps maintain healthy relationships and personal well-being. For instance, setting boundaries with work tasks can prevent burnout, and in personal relationships, it can ensure mutual respect and understanding.
Goal Setting: Goal setting in coaching involves helping clients define what they want to achieve and planning realistic steps to reach these goals. This structured approach ensures progress and keeps the client motivated.
In personal life, using this skill can help you achieve your own goals, such as fitness or career goals, by breaking them down into manageable steps and creating a timeline for achievement.
Reflective Practice: Coaches engage in reflective practice to assess their sessions and learn from each interaction. This helps in honing their skills and becoming more effective in facilitating client growth. As well, a coach is expected to build their education continuously, always seeking to enhance their coaching development as a professional
Applying this skill in daily life involves taking time to reflect on personal experiences, understand what went well, and identify areas for improvement. Whether it’s reflecting on a day’s work or a significant life event, this practice can enhance personal development and decision-making skills.
By incorporating these coaching skills into everyday interactions, we can enhance our personal and professional relationships, promote clearer communication, and finally stop annoying our friends with impromptu coaching sessions!
Thank you,
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