DIY? More like DI-WHY did I buy another self-help book?
Walking on Hot Coals (and Getting Burned)
The idea of self-improvement manuals and techniques stretches back far, but the modern conception of the self-help movement finds its roots in the ‘50s to its boom in the 1970s onward. The 1952 book “The Power of Positive Thinking”, an international bestseller, has over 5 million copies in print. By the 80s, Tony Robbins was holding packed seminars, mixing secularism with revivalism, and presenting self-improvement with flair (and sometimes literal fire).
But that very self-help world can burn you (literally and metaphorically). Yet by there being a dark side of the self-help world, it implies an equivalent light side. And this is a nice distinction to make. Self-help is not itself a problem. But going deep into its world might just be for some.
Since life coaching is adjacent to the self-help movement, these worlds do bleed over and tend to intermingle. To many clients, self-help and coaching are one and the same, and from an ICF perspective, they literally are. Yet some coaches (CLCI included) would like to keep the "self-help community" a healthy arms-length distance away, lest we start selling advice, or ICF forbid, a "way-of-life™". So join CLCI Live as Jen Long (ACC), Anthony Lopez (MCPC), and Brooke Adair Walters (ACC) uncover the dark side of the self-help world, in order to better engage in self-improvement overall.
Consumerism and Overconsumption
The "self-help world" isn’t the same as self-help. Unfortunately, your self-improvement and self-reliance is not the focus. Instead, what was seen through the self-help movement in the 20th Century was the birth and rapid growth of a market. Self-help as an action or a virtue exists independent of this commercial world, but "self-help" as a concept, a market, a genre, is thoroughly embedded in the market.
The self-help world we are typically familiar with is full of products and those who interact with them: those who sell and those who buy. With millions of books and hundreds of expensive conferences available to splurge on, it is easy to go for one more book, one more app, one more set of motivational quotes. The customers of the self-help world are buying into a consuming culture as much as they are purchasing books or seminars.
The self-help market is ever-growing. A 2023 Marketdata Enterprises report found that the U.S. self-improvement market increased 11.6% in worth from 2021 to 2022, coming in at an estimated $13.47 last year. Self-help books (and their audiobook counterparts) rake in hundreds of millions each year, and the market for motivational speakers is currently estimated to be worth over a billion dollars in the U.S. This is not a field suffering for revenue. With so very many books flooding the market, there is no shortage of self-help to find. In fact, it can be overwhelming. But the stress of its consumers does not prevent the self-help world as a whole from commercially benefitting.
Self-help, self-improvement, and self-care can all be made into markets, to sell and buy, to earn and consume. The crossover between these worlds faces similar problems. For instance, Psychology Today points out that the wellness industry’s version of self-care “is expensive and doesn’t work very well” yet it can become addictive for what brief, momentary feel-good comforts received through buying a new book or subscribing to a new self-care app.
Psychotherapist Nancy Colier describes this issue with this self-care world, writing that it “kidnaps our attention as we seek more feel-good experiences and more endorphin highs.” Both of these articles point out a common thread of marketing targeting women disproportionately more than men, but more options targeting men and younger millennials are being seen.
What Lurks In The Shadows
Perhaps the most obvious piece of this world are the many books available. Limited to Amazon alone, a narrowed search for self-help books will bring back hundreds of thousands of options. These books might offer motivational prose and quotes, or tout the power of manifestation through belief and positivity. But while some content is made for the sole purpose of making money (and may even tout pseudoscience and inaccuracies to beware), even genuinely heartfelt products aren’t always useful. It comes down to the person and the time. What could be useful in one year may be just another book on a pile of them in another, all of them blurring together and providing short term relief before the next book on the stack is turned to and none of those already read are applied into the overwhelmed individual’s life.
There’s also a level of obsession seen in the self-help world. We might follow more and more self-improvement influencers online, just as the self-help gurus of the 20th century received their paying audiences. We can join communities and tune out with so much of our life that isn’t likewise invested in Zoom calls and expensive seminars.
Mark Travers of Cornell University agrees that “it’s easy to get caught up in a cycle of books, seminars, and videos”...but without addressing the root issues in your unique life, being caught in this cycle is as far as the self-help world is likely to take you.
The process of consumption, though, really can be a good feeling in and of itself-for a moment. As Colier put it, the endorphin ‘high’ offers a distracting band-aid and that can make buying into the self-help world nearly addicting for some people. In some places, the dark side of the self-help world can even resemble a cult.
Avoiding the Dark Side Of The Self-Help World
Navigating the self-help landscape requires discernment and an understanding of the intention behind our pursuit of personal growth. It's crucial to differentiate between merely consuming self-help material as a form of passive intake and actively engaging in meaningful, directed change. This distinction is where life coaching and self-help can both diverge and intersect.
The ‘Why’ of Self-Help
Engaging in self-help shouldn't stem from a fear of appearing vulnerable or an unwillingness to seek help; such motivations can detract from the genuine empowerment self-help aims to offer. Self-help tools are not panaceas; they are aids in our personal development journey that require active participation and a readiness to implement real changes in our lives.
The ‘Why’ of Self-Help
Unlike traditional self-help, life coaching operates on a partnership model. A coach supports a client not by prescribing solutions, but by facilitating a process that helps the client articulate and achieve their personal and professional goals. This process involves questioning the underlying assumptions of self-improvement, focusing on specific, actionable objectives rather than abstract ideals of self-actualization.
The ‘Why’ of Self-Help
When evaluating self-help resources, consider their relevance to your current challenges, the accessibility of their content, and their actual utility in your personal growth. It’s important to be selective and mindful about the volume of self-help content consumed to avoid information overload, which can lead to diminishing returns.
Practical Steps in Coaching
Coaches can help clients identify how much of their self-help activities are genuinely beneficial and what might simply be consumption without action. Questions like "What specific steps can you take to apply what you’ve learned?" and "How does this align with your goals?" help clients move from passive consumption to active application.
While the self-help industry continues to offer various tools for personal development, integrating life coaching can provide a more structured, personalized approach to growth. By focusing on specific goals and fostering an environment of guided self-discovery, life coaching can enhance the benefits of self-help and ensure that personal development is both meaningful and effective.
Thank you,
Jen Long (ACC), Anthony Lopez (MCPC), and Brooke Adair Walters (ACC)!
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