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Writer's pictureAnthony Lopez

Scary 101: The Fear of Change

Updated: Dec 5

Change can be exhilarating, transformative, and full of promise. But for many, change is also incredibly intimidating. But for many coaching clients it can be a source of evoke fear, uncertainty, and discomfort. Whether you are a life coach guiding clients through shifts in their lives, or facing your own challenges, understanding the fears that come with change is essential to navigate it successfully.

Old way or new way with young woman wearing eye glasses

When Is Change "Bad"?

Not all change is positive. Sometimes, a change may disrupt stability or lead to unintended consequences that are detrimental. The Harvard Division of

Continuing Education suggests that poorly planned changes can fail when they lack a solid strategy, particularly if the changes are too drastic or imposed without considering their effect on people. In the world of coaching, helping clients discern whether a change is beneficial involves assessing whether the transformation aligns with their values and desired outcomes.


A change may also be "bad" if it comes at the cost of personal well-being, leaves clients feeling disempowered, or destabilizes important relationships. For coaches and clients, understanding the potential impacts of any significant change—both good and bad—is crucial for making informed choices and guiding growth.


The Ripple Effect of Change

One of the biggest fears that clients tend to face is how their change might affect others. Change is rarely an isolated event. When we make a decision, whether it’s ending a toxic relationship, moving to a new city, or embarking on a new career path, it will inevitably impact those around us. This can lead to feelings of guilt or fear of becoming the "villain" in someone else’s story.


Clients may fear that by pursuing what is best for themselves, they may hurt or disappoint others. This fear can be paralyzing, particularly when familial or social expectations are at play. As a coach, it's helpful to explore these feelings, allowing clients to recognize that their growth may indeed change dynamics—and that sometimes, that is necessary for their well-being.


Can Too Much Change Hurt?

Absolutely. Too much change, especially in a short period, can overwhelm both individuals and systems. Life transitions, even positive ones, can create stress. According to the Harvard Division of Continuing Education, change management in organizations often fails when leaders push too much change too quickly without considering the toll it takes on the workforce. The same concept can apply to individuals.


In coaching, it’s essential to explore how clients can pace themselves through transitions. Encouraging clients to take small, manageable steps rather than jumping into major upheavals can help them feel more in control and mitigate the negative effects of rapid change. Supporting a gradual approach allows individuals to adapt and integrate changes more comfortably into their lives.


Why Change Feels So Scary

The fear of change, often known as metathesiophobia, can be deeply rooted in our psychology. As VerywellMind points out, people are wired to prefer stability and predictability because it makes us feel safe. From an evolutionary perspective, our ancestors thrived on routine because it minimized threats and increased survival chances.


When a client faces the prospect of change, the fear of the unknown can become overwhelming. Coaches can help clients acknowledge these fears by breaking them down into manageable pieces and asking into what the client does have control over, and what they do not. Clients will often realize they have more agency than they initially realized at the start of the coaching session, which can then lead to concrete goals and objectives that can be later met.


Coping with the Fear of Change

Fear doesn’t always mean "stop"; sometimes, it’s an invitation for the coach to proceed thoughtfully and to ask permission to coach the fear. Clients might resist change because they fear failure, loss, or discomfort. For coaches, helping clients reframe their thinking around change can be empowering. Instead of focusing on what they might lose, coaches can ask on what they may gain. Helping clients build an adaptable mindset that views change as an opportunity rather than a threat can ease the transition process.


VeryWellMind also reminds us to discern between constructive and destructive fear. Constructive fear can signal potential threats and push us to make better decisions. Destructive fear, on the other hand, keeps us stagnant without real justification. By helping clients recognize the nature of their fear, coaches can support them in making decisions that align with their best interests.


Change is rarely comfortable, but discomfort is often the gateway to growth. Life coaches play a significant role in guiding clients through their fears and helping them understand when a change is worth pursuing. By breaking down the fears associated with change, assessing potential negative impacts, and offering practical strategies, coaches can empower clients to move forward confidently—even when change feels scary.


Whether you’re a coach or someone grappling with change, remember: fear is a natural part of the process. It doesn't mean you should avoid change—it means you should approach it with mindfulness, intention, and a willingness to learn.

 

 

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